I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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