i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just found puke in my bra..
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
