why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
