Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
