I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
