Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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