My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I didn't notice because vodka
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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