Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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