I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
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