You made me cry and you don't even care
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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