We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Less talking, more tequila
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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