Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
