i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize