don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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