you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
