Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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