I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
