You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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