He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
