i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
im holly from the hills drunk
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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