i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
