My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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