Me too!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
i believe in u and ur pee
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
