STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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