one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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