new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
