how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
