Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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