So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
