Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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