What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
