I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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