Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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