Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
