i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
