I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
