Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
