Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize