i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Randomize
