how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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