anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize