Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
