i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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