yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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