People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
