Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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