This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
