cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
