He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Actions speak louder than pants.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
