im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
