i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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