He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
