I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
