I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
