But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
