His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
