Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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