were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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