I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
