do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
