we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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