I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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